Not an Ordinary Thursday

Thursday seemed like an ordinary Thursday for me. Busy. I was onto my next stop at the first grade class I help out in. Like a normal driver, I stopped at a stop sign-how clever? I came to a full and complete stop, looked both ways, and then proceeded to go through the intersection. When I was almost halfway through I realized the enormous truck that seemed so far away at the time was not slowing down. He was going about 40 in a 25 zone. I freaked out. I didn’t know what to do and didn’t have much time to figure it out either. No matter what I did, he was going to hit me. I was sure this was it for the purple protégé and me. I closed my eyes, tensed up every muscle in body, and watched my short 18 years flash before my eyes. There was a horrible screeching sound, but no flip, no jolt, nothing else. I opened my eyes to see if I was dead or if I didn’t feel it because I was so scared. The answer: neither. To my surprise the enormous truck stopped literally a ¼ inch from my door. In fact he may have tapped it slightly. I didn’t move as the man in the truck backed up and maneuvered around me. He drove away apologizing and feeling very bad. After he left, I pulled to the side of the road, tried to remain calm, and I went on my way. I made it out with nothing but some stiff muscles and maybe a tiny dent in my car. However, I’m not sure I will take that route again.

So Long, Farewell...

Dear Headache,
I am so extremely tired of having you around! Today marks the 4th year of you being a part of my life. My life completely changed because of you- and not in a good way. Without you, I imagine that I would be completely different. I see myself loving high school, not being afraid of being too tired or hurting to much to hang out with people, and having confidence in myself. The truth is I will never be able to this with you around. Please, go away! You have way overstayed your welcome. You make me not feel like a normal kid. Normal kids don’t live in constant pain, have spinal taps or take medication up the yin-yang. Normal kids go to the doctors to get an answer, but I go expecting they won’t know how to help at all. I wish everyday that it will be our last together. That I will wake up and the pain you give will have miraculously disappeared. I am asking that you please go away; that you go and never ever return. I hope that by March ’09 I will celebrate you being gone and not be down in the dumps about having a 5th “anniversary.”

Peace Out,
Kelli

College Application Essay

As a fourteen year old, the last thing I expected was to have my life turned upside down, shaken around, and then dropped on the ground, breaking into tiny pieces. Almost four years ago, I woke up with the headache that changed my life forever. No one has been able to figure out what is causing my headache or what I can do to conquer it. My life was broken into nearly nothing, but now I continue to rebuild a little more of my life each day.

Through this journey, my headache has shown me the foundation on which I should build. This foundation is the personal strength I have found. It has taught me how strong and how weak I can be. I never thought I would be able to get through a spinal tap; now I have had three. I remember lying in bed thinking how easy it would be to let life pass me by. It was difficult, but I knew I wanted more than that. I am proud that, regardless of a constant, horrible pain, I continue to love life and have a smile on my face. My headache has taught me dependence, by showing me that I cannot do everything; despite my best efforts, sometimes I need help. It has revealed to me that I cannot have my life perfectly planned because it will change when I least expect it. I know what I can do, what I cannot do, and what requires the assistance of others.
The structure that builds on the foundation is my character. I have more passion for life than I ever did before my headache. I know how quickly life can change and that I need to always live life to the fullest. Though I always have a headache, I love to make people laugh. I live life with a zealous joy because, if I can brighten someone else’s day, I have brightened my own, too. I love that my character is completely different from anyone else’s

Finally, the last part of building is the paint, decorations, and anything that makes it special. To me this is my friends, family, and anyone that has helped me on this journey. Through all of this, I have learned who my true friends are and what matters most in life. These people have made me want to continue on and to do my best. They encourage me and make me proud of everything I have accomplished. I know that it does not matter what materials I have; it matters whom I surround myself with. They are what make me shine.

My headache has definitely changed my life, but I am so proud of the person I have become despite (and because of) it. While the rebuilding is often difficult, I cannot wait to see what it can become. I could have been a grumpy girl, who lied in bed all day and never graduated from high school. Instead, I am a passionate girl, who loves life, and who will finally be a high school graduate.

Props to Sherry for the editing!

You

Who are you? I don’t feel like I have ever really gotten to know you. I thought we had this great bond but then it slowly broke apart. I wanted to know you. I wanted to feel the love and happiness you gave. For some reason, I forgot who you were and what you did. I was scared of you and knew that I did not deserve you. What could I have possibly done to deserve your unfailing love? The answer: absolutely nothing. That is what I did not understand; what I could not believe. I became someone who not only did not understand you, but also did not like you. I am still this person. Somewhere deep inside I want to be wrong; I want to feel your love. Show me who you really are.

Here's to 2008

I have never really made much of any kind of New Year’s resolution; after all, I am still pretty young. However, considering I will be turning eighteen and all in just a little over a week, I decided it might be time to really think about what I want to make out of 2008.

• Have just as much walk as talk
• Not to be a hermit. Going out with people, because I will probably will a good time once I get myself there
• Do something that is generally out of my comfort zone.
• Get healthier
• Actually scrapbook- not just getting all of the supplies and stop because I do not know where to start
• Read more books
• Visit more friends and family
• Savor the moments with the people I love, and let them know how important they are to me
  
  That’s what I came up with for now. It is not a lot, but it sure is a good start. These are my resolutions that I will strive to accomplish in 2008. Welcome 2008!

Korrine

While enjoying the start of the brand new year, I could not help thinking about my dear friend Korrine. Korrine went to the doctor about two weeks ago with a stomachache; only to find out that she has a rapid form of cancer. She a very sweet 13 year old, whom I got to spend all my time with in Phoenix, Arizona. She has an incredibly sweet spirit and it devastates me that she is so sick. Korrine’s family has a blog to update everyone one of her progress TEAM KC. Korrine needs all the wonderful thoughts anyone can give her.

Missing Christmas

This Christmas was different than any other in previous years. I longed for the hectic Christmas Eve at my grandma’s house. I wanted to sit in the extremely crowded room, rip open my gifts, and reminisce with my cousins about previous holidays. Walking into that house you could tell Christmas was something she planned for all year. In fact, she liked to call me in September to ask what I wanted to for Christmas. When my grandpa got too sick to get a tree and help decorate, my family and I got the honors of helping her. She was always so impressed with the trees we picked out. While decorating the tree, she told us the stories that went along with the ornaments. I loved to help her at Christmas time.
Last year, we all knew she needed more help than she asked for. One day she called me and asked me to come and help her bake and get ready for the day she waited for all year long. Although she very confused, it was a time I am incredibly thankful for. It was a special time for me to be with her.
This year there was no helping, no crowded room, and no cousins. Instead my family and I had a quiet evening of going to church, having Strings for dinner, and watching Elf. It was weird. I did not like it. I missed my hectic Christmas Eve and especially my grandma.