Whole Again

Korrine was an amazing girl. Almost 11 months ago she was diagnosed with cancer. She fought a long, tough battle. Even when she was so sick, she always had her famous smile on and was telling jokes. Today Korrine’s battle ended. To some people, it might look as if she lost. However, I believe Korrine finally won her battle. You see, while she is no longer here, she is in Heaven. She no longer has cancer and she is no pain. Korrine has her strength back and is finally feeling like herself again. I bet Korrine is swimming and playing water polo in Heaven. Today Korrine was made whole. He made her whole

I loved Korrine so much. I have known her for as long I can remember. Her smile was present in every memory I have of her. Summer ’07 Korrine and I spent over a week together in Phoenix, Arizona on a mission trip. Throughout the 16 hour (maybe longer) car ride, Korrine sat behind me. She was so excited to be on a mission trip. Her laughter and excitement were contagious. Even though it was incredibly hot and we often got tired of all the work, Korrine was always optimistic. The love she had for Jesus was spread to many kids that week. Korrine didn’t stop there. Throughout her treatment Korrine had a blog that kept people updated of her progress. She didn’t hesitate to thank God for giving her the days she had. She led many people to Him through her blog.

Death is something very hard for me to understand. As I’ve watched love ones die, it hasn’t gotten any easier. The death of Korrine is another that I just do not get. She was so young. Her life was so short. Why such a sweet little girl? I know this is the best thing for her, but I still do not understand. I will never understand until the day I go Heaven. Another great person who died from cancer- my grandpa- once tried to explain it to me like this: “life is like a parade. The only part you see is what you are looking at that very moment. What has past you don’t remember very well and you have no idea what is to come or how it will end”. To humans, death is the worst thing that can happen to us. We just do not understand it. We don’t get why this is the “best thing”. One day I will understand why He took my friend Korrine when she was so young. One day He will explain it to me

Just Like Her

After a fun night of playing cars, making brownies, and tickling, it was finally time for my little buddy to go to bed. We got his pajamas on, brushed his teeth, and read some books. He knew it was time for lights out and began to think of anything that would keep that from happening. When he realized I am really good at playing that game, he started to cry. He cried and cried. I tried to calm him down for awhile and then I turned on his music and slipped out of the room. Knowing my little friend, and how much he wanted to play, I sat in the hallway quietly reading to make sure he wouldn’t get up to go to the play room. I remembered when I was the one being babysat, and how lucky I was to have such awesome babysitters.

Although I had a few babysitters, there was always one main one. I loved it when she came over! Summer days were filled with all kinds of fun because of her. We played charades, and “tea kettle” (aka sardines for you normal people); we went to the park, and we made play dough out of peanut butter. We did all kinds of cool stuff. I knew I had the best babysitter ever!
She was my babysitter, but I also considered her one of my very best friends. She came over so much she was more like an older sister too. I looked up to her so much. I wanted to be just like her. I wanted to light up the room the way she did when she came to my house.
Going to bed was something I remember not liking. I was probably so difficult to try to get into bed. When I was often still very wound up from playing, I remember her singing to me and rubbing my back. I loved the way it would calm me down. I loved when she sang me to sleep. I liked having her close to me so I also often asked if she would sit in the hallway and do her homework there so I knew she was there. Seeing her in the hallway gave me some sort of comfort. It seemed like she would do anything to make me happy.

Although I never ran away or locked her out of the house like my sisters did, I always hope I was good to her. I want her to have good memories with me when I was little. I think I am incredibly lucky to still see and talk to her quite regularly. She is still someone I look up to and admire so much. She selfless, funny, beautiful, smart, and can still light up any room. I want to be like her.

Going Home

Dear Grandma,
It’s been a year since you went home. I still have a hard time believing you are not here. Sometimes I still pick up the phone to call you and quickly remember you are not here to listen to my exciting news. I went through graduation knowing it would have made you so proud to finally see my finish. As much as it hurts for you not to be here with me, I know you are so much happier where you are.

I remember when my mom told me you were in the emergency room. My heart sank as tried to face reality. I did not go into your room for a few days. When I finally brought myself there the nurse wasn’t ever sure if you would be able to hear me or know I was there. The moment I saw you, I began sobbing because I knew you would be leaving me. My heart ached because there was nothing I could do to help you. You hung on for several days, but when you finally went home, it was kind of a relief. We knew you were no longer in pain, that you got to see grandpa again, and you were with your Father.

As I think about you, one amazing quality about you sticks out. You were incredibly selfless. You never hesitated to offer a room to someone or cook them a meal. You would go out of your way to make others happy. You never judged and saw the best in everyone. I want to be like that. I want to make you proud.

I think about you all the time. Sometimes it makes me sad, but other times I find myself laughing about all the good times we had. I miss our times together. I miss the crazy holidays. I miss your silly jokes. I miss you. Grandma, I love you so much and I cannot wait until I can see you again.

For The Best Babysitter in The World

Two weeks ago, as I was wandering about San Francisco I saw Gavin Newsome (his wife was there too). We were both gazing around a little flower stand. I couldn't help but stop and ask for a picture.

Not A Good Day

Yesterday was destined to be a bad day from the time I woke up. Getting out of bed was exceptionally difficult, even after I pressed the snooze button twice. When I finally got out of my super cozy bed, I looked at the clothes I set out and I was no longer satisfied with them. A new search began. I became happy with the new outfit I found. I thought it would be a beautiful day in the city and my light yellow shirt would be perfect. Then, as I tried over and over to straighten one section of hair, I heard the weather lady say San Francisco’s high was 66, which means my school has a high close to 60 degrees. Let the search for a jacket begin. I headed out the door with my notebook, my SFSU sweatshirt, and a piece of hair still a little wavy. Traffic was horrible. It didn’t clear up at the usual spot. I missed the BART train I was supposed to get on, but I didn’t panic. I got on the next train and knew I would still have time to get to class. My new train slowly came to a stop, and I started to get nervous. I grew a little more nervous every minute my train was delayed. When I finally got off at Daly City, I went right to the shuttle. The line was the longest I had seen it thus far and now I was panicked and really irritated. By the time I made it to campus, it wasn’t worth going to class. I went to the library to read and do some homework. Then my tummy started to not feel so hot. Before I knew it, I was running for the bathroom so my classmates wouldn’t have to see my breakfast. I thought I was ok, so I drank some water, got some gum, and went to class. I wasn’t, I left class twice. The students in my class probably think I’m crazy. After a few more runs to the nearest restroom, it was time to give up and go home. I headed to the BART station. Then, I remembered my dad dropped me off at BART so I would be stranded at the Dublin station. I made some phone calls to see if anyone could pick me up. Nope. Finally, I got a hold of my mom and had to ask her to leave work to come get me. I finally got home, got into my cozy bed, and slept the rest of my bad day away.

FOR REALS?!?

Does anyone else have a hard time believing that I have my first day of college tomorrow?!? I certainly can’t believe it. I don’t feel like it is really happening. I’ve waited so long for this point in my life and it is finally here. I can’t wait to start my new adventure tomorrow!

Where'd You Go?

What happened to us? I tried to deny if for a long time; I did not want it to be true. You left. You said you would always be here. While I know life changes, I feel like you ignore me. I feel like I am the only one who makes an effort in our friendship. You used to seem interested in my life; now when we talk I feel like I am boring you. It seems like you have grown closer to everyone around me, but further away from me. What happened? What can I do to fix it? I miss you. I miss our laughter. I miss our friendship