Needin' Some Z's

It’s 1:40 in the morning, why can’t I go to sleep? The sound of the train and my fan should be lulling me to sleep and somehow I’m still wide freaking awake. Not being able to go to sleep is so frustrating. I’ve listened to music and read; things that usually help me go to sleep, but they are just aiding the insomnia tonight. I guess I know what’s keeping me awake, the stress and incredibly uneasy feeling I’ve had is finally catching up to me. Being uneasy and not at peace with life is probably one of the most disturbing feelings. At first I noticed it was on my mind a lot more. Then it was in my thoughts a little bit more. Now, I can’t think of anything but it. I’m just not comfortable with the decision. Not only is it internally painful, but now it’s keeping me awake. Awesome. Tough decisions need to be made and feelings may be hurt, both which are things I generally try to avoid at all costs. Ugh. When it’s done, the weight inside me will be lifted and I will finally be able to catch some Z’s.

Fear of Losing It

Needless to say, I have been pretty horrible at blogging lately. My love for writing has not changed, it’s just every time I go to write the thoughts that overflow my mind I am not ready to put to paper yet. I feel like things are real once they are there for the world to see. I need to push through the “writer’s block” and keep going. Just a little at a time. I fear if I stop that I may lose my love for writing. I will lose a part of who I am. So, with that said, more blogs are soon to come.