No Excuse for You

I saw you kick your son tonight. That’s right, kick. I saw your two boys run away to the bathroom because of the fear they have of you hurting them. I saw as your wife observed what happened and went back about to her business like nothing abnormal had taken place. I pray you’re not hurting her too. I saw as you went on like nothing happened; but, it did. You kicked your son’s tiny thigh. After, I saw them run to the bathroom, I saw your older boy hesitantly come back to your side. As for your younger one, he hid in the hallway of the bathroom. The fear in his little blue eyes overtook his body. He paced back and forth; too afraid of what was going to happen next. As he paced, he limped. You did that to him. You physically hurt your son; there is no excuse for that. There never will be. I pray your sons, that despite their sorry excuse for a father, they grow up to be strong and loving men and dads. I pray your wife stands up for her adorable little boys, and herself if she needs to. I pray for you too, I pray that not a day goes by when you don’t feel bad about what you’ve done and about the damage that’s already been done to them. I pray that the guilt overpowers you and that you stop hurting your boys.

Starting the Healing

My wound got a little worse, but I finally got the courage to go get stitches. As I slowly peeled the band-aid off, I uncovered the wound. It pulled the surrounding skin and hurt more than I expected it to. I wanted to just put the band-aid back on and walk away. It would have been easier to just leave it alone, but I know the infection would have just gotten worse. I hadn’t seen the wound in a long time, and didn’t realize how bad it has become. I was surprised at how big the infection really is. There are lesions and tunnels I forgot were there, and even new ones I hadn’t yet seem. I started to expose it, but I was careful with what I showed. I was embarrassed to show all of it. How did I let it get there in the first place? How did I let it become so infected? I didn’t want to expose all the ugly, scared, broken, and infected areas. To prevent anymore infection, I had to show more though. I had to be honest and point out the deep areas. It needs to be cleaned out now, and it’s going to hurt and be uncomfortable. All of the dirt, bacteria, and impurities, have to be removed. The cleansing will probably reveal even more of those deeply infected areas. It’s not going to be fun, and it’s going to be painful, but it’s the next step to closing up that wound. As much as I would rather just put my band-aid back on and walk away, I know that it won’t heal and will never allow the wound to close.